I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize