If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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