Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
