ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
