my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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