I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
