C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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