so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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