I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
