He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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