it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
