bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
