ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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