They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
