New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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