We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He felt like a one man threesome
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
