I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
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