Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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