you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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