I want to stick my p in your. b.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
