o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
