She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
