i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
