i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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