I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
