I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
