STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
