wakey wakey hands off snakey
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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