Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
My vagina is very pro this idea
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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