Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
