My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
