Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
