ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize