NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
