who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
