so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I can't put those talents on a resume
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
