So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
