he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
