WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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