Got a toothbrush?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
