You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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