just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
