I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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