Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
