yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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