everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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