During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
