I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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