I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
