She's the barista slut.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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