he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
