similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
