Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I got inside last night via doggy door
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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