I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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