remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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