I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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