Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Randomize
