I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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